A reflection on this ‘thing’ called ‘life’: A major lesson
I was listening to a woman’s story who recently sold all her belongings that she had accumulated most of her life to move into a studio space in a nursing home. This powerful conversation has been a catalyst of self-reflection.
Everything she had in her house, she collected over the years. Some were purchased, some were gifts. All had memories attached to them. She even had her wedding dress from 1964, despite the fact that she’d been a widow for over 10 years. Pictures, family quilts, all priceless trinkets that, unfortunately, the younger generation in her family was not interested in. Those that would have appreciated them were no longer alive.
At the end of our conversation, she said, “Baby, spend time with the people that you love. Go places you’ve always wanted to go. Do things you’ve always wanted to do. Live. Collected trinkets can become a burden over the years as they collect dust, but great experiences and memories truly last a lifetime. They can outlive you if the people you’ve experienced them with can talk about your stories after you’re gone.”
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Throughout the years, I’ve had patients with gunshot wounds in their heads who survived. There was one in particular with which I was conversing. Their eye was dislocated, hanging on their cheek. Despite their condition, they were alert and oriented to everything that was going on. I was reminded of a grim reality: until it is your time to die, you are not going anywhere.
Over the years, I have spoken to many on their death beds and I’ve NEVER heard anyone regret buying a bigger house, a more expensive car or anything material. The conversations were always about things that were absolutely free, such as spending time with their loved ones, and moments that made them happy like walking on a beach, fishing, pets, or any other hobby.
It was these interactions that reminded me that life is too short and that chasing money to acquire material things was not living, but existing. The harsh reality for many of us is that those things NEVER fulfill the ego and soon this pursuit will find one on a “hamster wheel” we call life. Basically, living to pay bills. Ironically, it’s not true living. It doesn’t serve your soul’s purpose and is a major catalyst in depression.
I heard Jim Carrey say, “Depression is your avatar telling you it’s tired of being the character you’re trying to play,” and it instantly resonated with me. I couldn’t agree more.
Whenever I start to feel depressed, I re-evaluate my life and make sure I’m not living according to anyone else’s standards. Making self-care a priority has been my antidote. Self-care includes mental, physical, and emotional health which led me to doing what I love to do with the people I love.
Facing mortality through the eyes of many has taught me to appreciate the little things and live in a constant state of gratitude. I cherish walking on beaches, traveling, meeting people from different walks of life, and watching sunrises and sunsets because tomorrow is not promised.
My biggest lesson: When it’s your time to leave this earth, there is no medication, machine, or human that can keep you here and until it’s your time to go, nothing can take you out… no car accident, gunshot wound, disease, virus, or bacteria …. NOTHING. So, enjoy your life while you’re here. Do not let the collection of “trinkets” rule your life.
Whatever puts a smile on your face and gives you personal joy, do that as much as possible.
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