Across America, millions of people are performing one of the most essential roles in society — and often without realizing it. A recent national briefing spotlighted the growing challenges faced by family caregivers and the urgent need for better support, especially as caregiving becomes more complex and long-lasting.
By: Nathaniel Greene, Community & Culture Reporter
Across America, millions of people are performing one of the most essential roles in society — and often without realizing it. A recent American Community Media briefing spotlighted the growing challenges faced by family caregivers and the urgent need for better support, especially as caregiving becomes more complex and long-lasting.
For Susan DeMarois, director of the California Department of Aging, the issue is both professional and deeply personal.
“I cared for my dad, who developed heart issues when I was in high school, and in his later years I was very hands-on,” she shared. “My mom developed dementia and Alzheimer’s disease. She lived in rural Northern California.”
DeMarois said many people remain unaware that they are even considered caregivers. “If you ask a caregiver, ‘Are you a caregiver?’ they will probably say no,” she said. “But when you ask if they drive a loved one to medical appointments, pick up prescriptions, or drop off meals, these are basic tasks that help family and friends. And there are many more intimate tasks that are otherwise performed in assisted living communities, nursing homes, and hospitals.”
She noted that California has invested heavily in a statewide support network: “California has supported a network of area agencies on aging in all 58 counties. They all provide caregiver supports. Estimates are that about 65% of all care is provided informally by family and friend caregivers.”
But the statistics only tell part of the story. The real weight of caregiving lives in the homes and daily routines of those doing it.
For Dan Salinger, caregiving was not a role he sought — it was a role that slowly became unavoidable.
“I was a caregiver long before I knew I was a caregiver,” he said. Salinger now cares for his 93-year-old father, whose cognitive decline has made daily life dependent on constant assistance. “We have been assisting him with the bathroom, with showers, eating, getting out of bed, going to bed. Every single need he has now requires someone to be there.”
The emotional, financial, and physical toll can be overwhelming. “It is extremely difficult,” Salinger admitted. “The respite, the financial pressure, the isolation, the breaks — and the community networking that helps you get through difficult moments.”
But what stands out most is how caregiving changed him.
“Caregiving is the most difficult thing I’ve ever undertaken in my life, but it’s also one of the most rewarding,” he said. “I like myself today a lot more than I did when I was working and playing full-time. I am a better person. I am more empathetic.”
His message to others is direct: “Don’t be afraid to take on the task of caregiving. It is tough, but it is doable. It’s humanity. It’s being human.”
For Alma Valencia, caregiving began subtly, as it does for many adult children. Her mother, Arminda, began showing behavioral and financial warning signs long before a diagnosis.
“We don’t realize that we are caregivers. We just step into the role because we’re good daughters and good sons, helping each other out,” she said. “Being a full-time caregiver is a different experience.”
Eventually, Valencia had to take legal and financial control. “I became her power of attorney, took over her finances, and took her to the doctor,” she said. “She was diagnosed with depression and alcoholism, and a few years later she was finally diagnosed with dementia.”
Valencia later left her career as a Technical Designer — a field she worked in for more than 20 years — to become her mother’s full-time caregiver. The pandemic accelerated the shift, and her mother moved into her home.
Looking back, Valencia believes families need earlier access to information. “I wish that all of these resources would be displayed at all doctor’s offices,” she said. She also shared the importance of online peer support: “You just can’t give up. To any family caregiver out there — there are resources. Do not give up.”
Her message resonates deeply: “Caregiving is hard, but not impossible. Until there’s a cure, there’s community. You have to find your community.”
For Paul Dunaway, director of the Sonoma County Adult and Aging Division, the solution begins with recognizing caregivers as a core part of the healthcare system.
“If I had to pick one war cry, it’s the need to recognize and deliver on the needs of caregivers,” he said. “Caregiving is an intensely personal act and a profoundly shared one. It can be deeply isolating. None of us can thrive in isolation.”
Dunaway highlighted the role of local Area Agencies on Aging in providing education, respite, support groups, counseling, and skill-building programs. “Whatever role you play as a caregiver, there’s a community of care for you,” he said.
He believes the nation must rethink how it views aging. “We have prioritized independence entirely too much. The word should be interdependence — aging in place, together.”
Dr. Donna Benton, director of the USC Family Caregiver Support Center, said caregiving is changing rapidly as people live longer and medical duties shift into the home.
“With the aging population, we are seeing caregiving lasting 10 years or more,” she said. Families are now responsible for “tasks like changing needles and doing pain management, which scares many families.”
“Things that used to be done in hospitals are now part of the trend called hospital at home,” she added.
Despite these increasing demands, Benton said the core motivation remains unchanged. “We provide care because we want dignity and respect for the person we’re caring for, and we know that comes from us.”
Her guidance is simple: start preparing early. “Advocate for yourself and your family. Caregiving is a family affair. We need to think now about how we want our care to be in the future.”
For more information, visit the American Society on Aging.
